So those cloth diapers haven't arrived yet, which I suppose is to be expected as the scheduled delivery date isn't until Monday. Why do things have to be on time?! Why can't they just be early like I want them to be!? Any time I order something online and have to wait for it to be delivered there's a very Christmas like feel in the air, but then, because it's not actually Christmas, my impatience starts to show and I get a little testy and check the tracking number on the item I ordered every few minutes because you never know when your package will have made its way from Massachusetts to California, and once it's in the state you need to know, because otherwise how can you obsess properly?
Exercising has been going well by the way; I've been running twice this week so far, and while I didn't go this morning because Baby Llama had a pretty bad night last night sleep-wise, I am planning on heading out this evening once Mr. Llama gets home. There's something about hitting the treadmill or the pavement and getting my heart rate up and sweating all over that I never appreciated before--probably because I wasn't a mom before. Now, I can appreciate the sweet, truly alone time that a work-out brings. I can put in my ear-phones, listen to Lady Gaga, and not have to worry about retrieving someones pacifier for at least 30 minutes. It's divine. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving being a Mommy, and my kid is the sweetest baby in the world, but that doesn't lessen my need for some "me" time, free of any demands. I'm still an individual, and being a mother doesn't change that.
And I also found out over the course of my last few work outs that I'm averaging about 12 minutes per mile, which isn't super good, but is better than I expected given my fitness level. So thats motivational and such, and it gives me a starting point to improve on. I haven't really been losing much weight because breast feeding makes me constantly hungry and I'm afraid that not eating will damage my supply and translate to my little chunker not getting enough to eat... but time and endurance I can focus on, so there. It's funny, because I've never really been one for exercise. When I lost weight before it was entirely due to diet. I cut out a lot of foods and watched my portion sizes and focused on what I put into my body rather than what I could get out of it. This time I'm trying it in reverse, being active and eating mostly healthy things whenever I get hungry. It's slow going, but maybe this is what I needed to start building good physical habits that will keep me healthy in the long run?
So just to get real for a minute and hold myself accountable, I currently weigh 173 pounds, which is 21 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight of 152. I'm hoping to get down to that weight by Thanksgiving with enough hard work and healthy habits. After that, I've got another 17 pounds to go before I'm back down to 135, where I was when I got married and where I felt at my physical best. Of course, the fact that I'm actually working out now may change my ideal weight by adding on some muscle, so we'll see how that goes... but I will fit into my size sixes again, so help me! We all have to have goals, right?
Now before I sign off, I feel compelled to tell you that I'm leaving you so I can watch Supernatural, which at once amuses and terrifies me. I can only watch it during the light of day with all of out blinds wide open and as few trips to the bathroom as possible. You know how scary mirrors can be after you watch something with ghosts in it. Yikes. Please pray for my sanity and that I don't get a UTI from holding it too long.