On Being a Baby

It must be very frustrating to be a baby. I mean, first of all, your parents put you in a crib to sleep instead of just holding you all night. What the heck is that about? And secondly, you get pretty terrible gas that comes out with super unlady like sounds accompanied by either spit up or poop. Sometimes both. And you have zero control over your bladder, which means that there's usually something trickling out and making your diaper (how embarrassing) uncomfortable. 

Of course it has its upsides to, this baby-hood. You get to keep your parents up until mid-night and then wake them every three hours to eat just for a few minutes, poop, be unswaddled and changed then reswaddled, poop again, then have to be unswaddled and changed and reswaddled all over again before being latched back on a booby to be nursed back to sleep. Its a complicated process, but very rewarding for the baby in question. 

Also when you're a baby you don't have to help with household chores on account of you don't have control over your limbs quite yet and would probably spit up on the freshly mopped floor anyway. Not that you'd get in any sort of trouble for this, because all you'd have to do would be smile and your parents would forget the floor and make fools of themselves trying to get you to smile again-- which you would do only after a few minutes so you could watch all the silly faces without any sort of interruption. 

Yes, being a baby would be sweet indeed if I didn't know how phenomenal being the Mommy is. Not only do I have control over my bladder and limbs, I also get to watch the most amusing little person flail around and smile and hiccup all day... and a lot of the night. 

Andplusalso, I get to snuggle her, which is the best thing in the world.