Monday, April 28, 2014

Wake Up, You.

Sometimes, my writing soul hibernates and I leave my not so secret corners of the internet to grow weeds. That was my October through April. Its not that I wrote nothing, because I did flex my fingers to type an embarrassing amount of fan fiction that I'll never share here. No, its that my heart didn't compose as it went through life anymore, and that is a terrible place to be for a blogger.

But then, a few weeks ago it happened. I was going about my day, watching completely ordinary things go on around me, and it all looked like magic. I could hear lines forming in my head and could practically feel the key strokes under my fingers because I knew that if I were to write about my day, I could turn it into something beautiful. Of course I didn't. I was out of practice and scared to pick back up my microphone. What if I got it wrong? What if this break was the one during which I'd managed to lose my voice and what I wrote sounded more like an assignment than like me? What if being a mother had dried up this special part of who I am, the part that looks at the world like its a story needing to be told?

I'm still here though, it turns out. My writing brain was just resting and now its back, which is excellent because I have more to write about than ever before. My baby is ten months old now. Ten months! She can almost walk and she looks more like a little person than an infant every day. I don't want to forget this time, I don't want to forget the way she tries to bite my knees when I'm sitting, or the way her face lights up when she sees me pull out my lap top. I want to remember it all, be able to look back and laugh and smile because I caught it all here like a butterfly in a bell jar.

So good morning world, I'm here again.

Also, I don't want to forget this.

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