Triumph In The Morning

Today I woke up around eight and made magic happen. I dunno if you're aware, but getting things done with a teeny baby around is kinda difficult, so when I am able to accomplish the things on my list in a minimal amount of time, it's a triumph. This morning I managed to feed the baby (twice), change the baby (four times), eat breakfast, exercise, shower and bathe the baby, do laundry, defrost chicken for grilling and watch several episodes of the office. All before noon.

Success!

And yesterday was also awesome in the getting things done department. I woke up and took Leighton to work, stopped at a fabric store where I bought some gauze fabric for a baby wrap and some more swaddle blankets, and then ran to the optometrist where I had them order me some new frames because the ones they gave me on Friday lost a decorative piece after like, an hour of wearing them. And then in the evening we did our grocery shopping and I was in bed by 9:00 to try and catch up on sleep I'd lost the night before while driving home from our trip.

Now its almost lunch time and there are some rumblies in my tumbly and the baby looks like she is about to wake up from her nap, so I'll make the rest of this quick and just post some photos already.

^^^This is what a freshly fed baby looks like first thing in the morning as you take off her jammies.

 ^^^And this is what she looks like once she is wearing just a clean diaper and you're making silly faces at her.

^^^But then if you give it half an hour she'll look like this...

 ^^^No worries though, because if you have a couple of sturdy rings and a scarf you can do this and she'll sleep happily on your chest until she is ready to rinse and repeat.

No Body Puts Baby in the Closet... Except Me.

This morning I feel triumphant. It happens sometimes. Today its because Baby Llama had good sleep last night. And I mean good. Or as good as it can be for a baby not yet six weeks old. It took her two hours to actually go to sleep last night (not the good part) but once she was down she slept for four and a half hours, after which she woke, ate, pooped, had her diaper changed, ate a teensy bit more, then went back to sleep and slept another four hours. Which means mama got eight hours of sleep last night. Hurrah!!! And now I'm sitting here with an awake baby who is awake on my lap smiling all sorts of charm at me. It's heavenly.

I think part of it was that we moved her sleeping area into our walk in closet and her dresser/changing table thing into the bedroom. I know it sounds weird (you make your baby sleep in the closet?!) but our walk in is pretty massive. We moved all our clothes to one side of the "room" and our shoes under our respective edges of the bed. And then BAM there was more than enough room for a crib along the left side and baby was sleeping in an area of her own with consistent lighting and airflow. Added bonus? Mama didn't wake up at every little sound and the one time she did wake up to some baby grunts she was able to go back to sleep almost right away and Little Llama was able to fall back to sleep by herself. Win. Win. Win. That third win is for Daddy who got to sleep straight through the night.

In other news, my six week doctors appointment is coming up this week. Among other, less your business and more risqué things, I will likely be cleared for exercise at this check-up. In anticipation of this event, I've ordered Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred DVD, almost purely because I've heard good things about it from post baby Mommy's who are now all thin and whatnot. Also, the work-outs are only 20 minutes, which means I can squeeze them in during Munchkin's naps alongside laundry, blogging, and lunch.

And in case you're wondering what's on Netflix lately, Mr. Llama and I have been watching Sherlock. He pays attention to the plot and I pay attention to Benny Cumberbatch and we're both happy as clams.

Oh, I almost forgot! If you're looking to yummify oatmeal, get some frozen mixed berries and mix them into it while its still hot, along with a fair bit of honey. Delicious (said in Mr. Candy-Crush's voice, because I'm stuck on level seventy which is really hard, through not quite as hard as level sixty five way).

Now I don't really have any pictures of any of the above events slash ideas slash foods to share with you, so here are some of the latest iPhone picture I have of my baby. I know that's really why you're here, so enjoy.

On Being a Baby

It must be very frustrating to be a baby. I mean, first of all, your parents put you in a crib to sleep instead of just holding you all night. What the heck is that about? And secondly, you get pretty terrible gas that comes out with super unlady like sounds accompanied by either spit up or poop. Sometimes both. And you have zero control over your bladder, which means that there's usually something trickling out and making your diaper (how embarrassing) uncomfortable. 

Of course it has its upsides to, this baby-hood. You get to keep your parents up until mid-night and then wake them every three hours to eat just for a few minutes, poop, be unswaddled and changed then reswaddled, poop again, then have to be unswaddled and changed and reswaddled all over again before being latched back on a booby to be nursed back to sleep. Its a complicated process, but very rewarding for the baby in question. 

Also when you're a baby you don't have to help with household chores on account of you don't have control over your limbs quite yet and would probably spit up on the freshly mopped floor anyway. Not that you'd get in any sort of trouble for this, because all you'd have to do would be smile and your parents would forget the floor and make fools of themselves trying to get you to smile again-- which you would do only after a few minutes so you could watch all the silly faces without any sort of interruption. 

Yes, being a baby would be sweet indeed if I didn't know how phenomenal being the Mommy is. Not only do I have control over my bladder and limbs, I also get to watch the most amusing little person flail around and smile and hiccup all day... and a lot of the night. 

Andplusalso, I get to snuggle her, which is the best thing in the world. 

Life Lately

Life has been sort of hazy lately. I wake up and I feed the baby and then I try to go back to sleep but often fail because wouldn't you know it, she's hungry again. I spend most of my day sitting in our green chair nursing and mobile facebooking, because it's sort of hard to balance a laptop and a baby on your legs at the same time. 

We did get out of the house yesterday though! It was great. I put on some clothes and some make-up and Leighton, my Mother and I went out to dinner. I put Ruby in her sling and she slept against my chest the whole time. This was my view looking down.

^^^Heart-Melter.

The restaurant we went to was actually the first in the area to disappoint me food wise. It was billed as Greek and American food, but there sure wasn't a ton of greek. Sad day. So to make up for it we took a stroll to the Creamery where I indulged in a mini (but seriously, the mini is still really big) cookie dough ice-cream and then wished I had gotten the large, because my appetite has been insane lately.

Anywho, today I'm planning on snuggling a squishy newborn and then doing a photo shoot for her. I'll let you know how that goes, but I'm hopeful that they will turn out well and I'll have something lovely to show you tomorrow. 

Now here are a couple more pictures to brighten your day. 

^^^Yeah, we're pretty tired. 

Preface To A Birth Story

You know, I really thought I'd get a chance to type up my birth story earlier than this (like in the hospital while recovering). But guys, having a baby is hard work. I mean, it's amazing and rewarding and magical, but also the most exhausting thing I've ever done. And I did two weeks of the Insanity work out, so I know all about exhausting things. Between rocking and bouncing and swaddling and breast-feeding (which by the way, is way more challenging than actually giving birth), I haven't had time to do much more than sleep and check facebook on my phone while Ruby eats.

Yesterday though, I actually had the strength and where-withall to get myself showered, dressed, and make-uped so Mr. Llama and I could take a trip to the mall where I bought myself some new nursing bras because, as it turns out, your boobs get massive when they have the sole responsibility of nourishing another human being. Speaking of nourishing another human, we had a pediatrician appointment yesterday too, and Ruby is looking super healthy. She is still down from her birth weight, but that is completely normal. And the pediatrician told me I was pretty fantastic at the whole breastfeeding thing (she watched, so she knows).

Anywho, while I was on such a roll, I decided I'd crack open my laptop this morning and give typing this thing up a go. Hopefully I can stay awake long enough to finish it, but I make no promises as I'm currently running on about two seconds of sleep. Apparently my child is half owl, because she does not dig the whole sleeping at night thing.

Now here is a cute picture of my kid to tide you over until the next post, which I promise will have tons of photos of my squishy newborn.

A Very Short Ramble

Once upon a time, there was a hugely pregnant Llama and she was very tired all of the time, because I mean, wouldn't you be tired if you were hugely pregnant? Anywho, because the Llama was so very tired all of the time, she spent a lot of her mornings in bed snoozing and trying to beat level 65 of Candy Crush Saga. And by a lot of her morning I mean she frequently didn't get out of bed until 11. Don't be jelly.

Now the Llama's sleeping habits weren't really the point of this post, but she thought she'd start off with that because it really was the best part of her day yesterday, considering the hours between 11 and Mr. Llama's home-coming were filled with more episodes of Charmed than she cared to admit.

Now, because I've basically run out of things to say, let's pretend we were all thrilled by todays blog and check in again tomorrow. Maybe I'll actually have something interesting to report next time. Oh and PS: here are some pictures I found in my photobooth library! Enjoy!

What did you do all day? What is your favorite color? Aren't my cheeks awesome?!^^

The Most Amazing of Walks

Last night--after an appointment with the midwife during which she told me the baby was basically going to fall out if I progressed any more--Mr. Llama and I went for a walk. I don't know if you've ever gone for a walk while a week over-due, but it requires frequent rests and by the end of it you walk up the stairs to your apartment feeling like you've been hit by a semi-truck. I think though, that the Lord must have been watching out for me last night, because it was seriously one of the greatest walks ever.

To start out with, my walking buddy is a super handsome and amusing dude. So there was that. And then, we were stalked by a squirrel. We spotted him on a power line beneath some trees and watched as he followed us (at a not so discreet distance) for several blocks. We were about to get worried, because I mean, it's not every day a suspicious squirrel follows you in a nice neighborhood, but then he hopped into a tree and, we are assuming, got there just in time for his Acorn Addicts Anonymous meeting.

Next, we saw a swarm (seriously, a big swarm) of ants on the side-walk that super grossed me out but was also kinda interesting. You literally couldn't see the cement for a square foot because of how many there were. It was a sight to behold.

And then, then, we found a ten dollar bill on the side of the road. Yeah, ten whole bucks. I think God was was telling me to hang in there with the whole pregnancy thing, because just after we found the money we passed a donut shop and it smelled heavenly, so we spent three of the dollars on donuts and I regret nothing. Just so you know though, Krispy Kreme still makes the best glazed donuts in the world.

So there it is, my ideal walk. Suspicious squirrels, creepy/interesting bugs, money, and sugar. All of these things form a perfect union and pretty much steal my heart.

Now here is me taking one of those frequent rests I mentioned. I highly recommend street signs for leaning if you ever find yourself imitating a winded rhinoceros on the side of a road.

What happens on your ideal walk? Care to make a guess how big the baby will be? The ultrasound said 8.6 pounds today. If you guess the date/time of the baby's birth within an hour, should i give you a prize? 

Tragedy.

You know what is super unfair? That a couple weeks before my due date, all of my favorite shows decided to have their season finales or something. I mean, rude, right? And yet still I have been checking weekly for new episodes. Hopelessly, I click on my entertainment links and check the websites for Once Upon a Time, The Americans, The Vampire Diaries, Being Human, and 1600 Penn.  And nothing. It's tragic.

So Instead I sit here and I read other people's blogs, and I facebook, and I maybe start watching that old series Charmed, about the three sister witches who could because I mean, what else is good on Netflix these days that won't get me hooked to a new series that will then leave me high and dry when they cancel the show for some stupid and horrendous reason? (Yeah, I'm talking about you, Heroes.)

But you know what keeps me happy, even though I have nothing to watch and I'm quickly approaching a week past my due date?

Youtube.

And because I want you to be happy too, I'm going to share a few of my very favorite videos today.

Now smile!

What is your favorite youtube video? How do you occupy yourself in the television off season? What television series do you most resent for being cancelled? 

Costco Is Lovely (and TBT)

Can we please, please talk about how awesome Costco is? I mean, the magnificence cannot be denied and should not be over-looked. Just think about it with me for a minute. You flash a card and get nodded into this exclusive club where right away there are a ton of snazzy looking electronics and 60 foot televisions and whatnot. Kaching! And then you get to wander around till your hearts content, and if it's the right time of day people will just give you food at random intervals because you look hungry and they are angels.

And the things you can buy in bulk! Of course the necessities like cold cereal and bread and Costco brand apple strudel muffins (which I tragically over-looked somehow on our trip yesterday and have been craving ever since), but then there are things like Cheez-Its (45 individual pouched for a little over eleven bucks!!!) and Cliff Bars. So you buy them and then you try to find someplace to store them all but you discover that the junk food drawer you set aside can't possibly contain the Cliff Bars and the Cheez-Its, so you pull out the almost empty candle drawer, remove the candles and try to fit all the Cheez-Its in there... only to fail because did you know 45 delicious pouches take up a lot of space? So then you throw your hands in the air and say, "I don't care who knows we love Cheez-Its," and put the whole giant box of them on top of the fridge for all to see and admire.

Andplusalso, they have grain free dog food at this heavenly store for super cheap (compared to other grain free dog foods), which is awesome because since we switched Llama Dog to a non-grain free food last week, he's had the runs. Gross.

Oh and guys, I don't know if you remembered, but today is Throwback Thursday! Yay! So because this is hopefully the last TBT for which I will be pregnant (get out of my uterus, baby!), I'm going to give you the progression of an almost Mama Llama.

 ^^^The day we found out I was knocked up. It was magical. And my hair was doing this funky too red thing because I box-dyed it. I do not recommend.

 ^^^Six weeks with child. See how flat my belly was? Those were the days. All the excitement, zero symptoms.

 ^^^20 Weeks. Halfway through the pregnancy. I was still nauseated, but otherwise feeling okay. And I was starting to look pregnant instead of just fat! Good times.

^^^This is a throwback to this past Sunday. 40 weeks knocked up. Can you see the craziness behind my eyes?

What is your favorite thing to buy at Costco? Cheez-Its are a food group, right? Can you think of another clever question to put here? 

Family Home Evening

So the FHE last night was pretty rockin. After our midwife appointment and an impromptu early dinner date following (which I'm going to make you wait until tonight to hear about, bwahahah!) we came home and did some scripture study together before digging into the really awesome part of what we had planned. Onesie painting! 

I know, we're so exciting. But I've had the blank onesies and the paint for ages and ages now, and I've been meaning to do something fun with them but just never got around to it. This way I was able to rope Mr. Llama into helping though, and we could call it a family enriching experience. Yay us! 

It took me over twice as long to finish with my onesies as it took the Mr. to finish with his, but maybe he's just more naturally talented than I am? I mean, he free-handed his and they both look awesome, while I and my serious lack of painting talent had to use copious amounts of painters tape. 

 ^^^See, those are Leighton's. Super legit, right? Ruby (Baby Llama) is going to have a onesie with a ruby on it, painted by her Daddy who loves her very much. And also a smiley face onesie because Daddy was channeling Forest Gump for some reason.

Now here are mine. 

^^^ So this one started off cute enough. Her heart is in Arizona with both sets of grandparents. Adorable, right? Now do you see all those green streaks? Those are there because I accidentally got green paint on the onesie and figured I should just do streaks everywhere to make it look like I meant to do it. And I mean, it does look like I meant to do it now... but it also doesn't look good. I could always say it's to bring to mind the bold saguaro though I guess? I mean who doesn't want their baby to look prickly and unapproachable like a cactus?

^^^And here is the proof that without painters tape I would be lost. (How do you think I managed straight lines on the Arizona outline? 

So basically, we had fun, but I should not be allowed to dress my child in clothing of my own creation. You live you learn. 

Have you ever used acrylic paint on fabric before? Did it stay through the wash? Are you good at painting like my husband is? Or should you perhaps stick to writing as an art form like me? 

Superstition

Are you superstitious? I never really thought I was. I mean, I can walk under ladders, break mirrors, and cross paths with the blackest of cats like a champ. But lately, I feel like my mind has been running away with me and telling me things that make no logical sense.

For example: "Your baby will not be born until you finish reading that childbirth book you ordered on Amazon, because she doesn't want you to waste money."

Or more recently: "You will have the baby once you finish watching all of the Harry Potter movies from start to finish."

Guys, I just put the fourth movie in.

Maybe the Harry Potter thing isn't such a long shot though? I mean, you know what a nerd I am. maybe Baby Llama will be super into it too and want to come out to see for herself what it's all about once she gets to experience the fullness of the movies in utero.

Now please excuse me, because the voices are telling me that watching the movies means actually paying attention to them. If you need me in the next day or two I'll be snuggling on the futon with my preggle pillow Ricardo and probably a bowl of icecream.

^^^Apparently Llama Dog thought Deathly Hallows Part One Sucked. But what does he know, right? Also, why doesn't Part Two have a picture of Potter on the spine like the others? Is that to make it more dramatic or something? Like Book Seven not having a teaser on the flap?

Are you superstitious? What About? Do you like Harry Potter? If not, do you also hate puppies?    ;)

Lunch Time Blues

Just once during this pregnancy I would like to be able to finish a meal without getting nauseas. Sadly, I think that blessed miracle has decided to pass me by, because even now, six days from my due date, I still can't finish a stinking ham and cheese sandwich at lunch time without feeling like I am going to hurl. I mean look at my plate!

Isn't it sad? The hunk of heaven on the left is jam packed with sharp cheddar and mustard, two of my favorite things in the world. And I still can't eat it. And the crust, well, Llama Dog generally helps me eat that, because apparently I am a 5 year old when it comes to my sandwiches. Which is probably why he looks like this 99.7% of the time that I'm eating.

It is super cute until you feel guilty for eating the last bit of your own meal because you're depriving the dog of its one joy in life. Maybe I should have thought more about this whole table scraps thing when he was little.

In other news, I thought I was going in to labor last night, but I wasn't. I feel like this is becoming a pattern. A very depressing, anxiety inducing pattern. Andplusalso, I started actually reading the birthing book I got so many moons ago, and it is simultaneously increasing and decreasing my fear of labor and delivery. I didn't even know that was possible.

Reading it pretty much goes like this.

Oh my gosh! I have to push a baby out of my vajay! It's going to hurt so bad! But I can handle it! But holy cow, did you know it's going to hurt for hours and hours? Dude, you've got this, you're a champion. A champion of PAIN! No! A champion of growing a baby and then pushing it out of your body all by yourself because you're a bad A. 

Rinse and Repeat.

So pretty much I have all of the feelings in the world about childbirth now, and they are just building up and eventually will explode. Probably around the same time my body does, resulting in a small creature Mr. Llama and I will then be responsible for that we can't just put in a kennel to calm down.

This is going to be fun.





What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch? When was the last time you hurled? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

The Llamas Make Friends

San Jose is pretty chill. I mean, I could definitely live here indefinitely and be happy if the cost of living weren't so outrageous. But lets not go there. Instead, lets talk about the people.

Our first day here about eight dudes from our local church showed up to help us unload the U-haul we'd just driven for 15 hours straight over-night. Score niceness! But then we thought, "well, maybe its a fluke? Maybe they're just exceptionally used to people moving in but then will forget about us after the novelty wears of next Sunday?

Nope. Three Sundays later and everyone is still super nice and chill and fun to be around. And they genuinely care that a nine-month pregnant Llama and her Mr. moved into their area and want to help us however they can. I think perhaps it has something to do with the fact that there are a lot of young couples with babies attending the same church, most of whom have moved in fairly recently as well. So it's a community of people looking out for each other, because they've been there and done that. Mostly though, I know it's because of this wonderful church we all have in common and the teachings I hold so dear. "Observe and then Serve" was the theme of one of our lessons this past Sunday, and I can say whole-heartedly that people here are doing just that.

Now enough sap. I know what you're really wondering.

"So Llama, you say people are awesome, but are you actually making friends, or are you just all praising Jesus together?"

Well yes, we're doing the hallelujah thing, but I'm super proud to say that we're also doing way better than we did in our last area (where it took us about eight months to actually reach out and get to know people)... and have made friends. It's okay to be jealous. I mean, we did invite said friends to dinner on Sunday and feed them that delicious cilantro lime rice with crock-pot chicken that you love, agua de limon, and my renowned chocolate chip and cream cheese cookies. And then we played Apples to Apples and totally connected and it was magical.

Now here's a couple pictures to prove I'm not lying for attention. Unfortunately I didn't get a picture of the Papa Bear of this lovely family (who it turns out is just as into iPhone apps as Mr. Llama is), but I will next time. I swear he exists too!

^^^ Apples to Apples. Just like I said. Now stop judging me with your judging eyes!

^^^Look at the hair on this adorable little baby! It's so redly! He is so cute! His parents make good looking babies!

 ^^^And how could they not when the Mama Bear is this pretty? And has such a sense of style! (And great taste in books. I may or may not be friend crushing right now.)


What is your favorite board/card game to play with a group? Would you buy a diaper shaped hat if I started marketing them? Do you have a favorite cookie and will you share the recipe? 

Breaking News

I'm about to tell you all something you probably didn't want to know. Avert your eyes now or be held responsible for the knowledge you're about to acquire.

I'm serious.

I will not be blamed for you having read this later.

Okay.

You've been warned.

Just now a maintenance man left our apartment after having fixed two drawers and an air conditioning vent. He was here for about an hour and a half.

I had to poo the entire time.

THE ENTIRE TIME.

He is so lucky I didn't just throw my hands up in the air and say, "be back in a few, dude," on my way to the bathroom.

Because pregnant stank is the worst stank in the world.

Now you know.

And here's a picture of a cute puppy to make up for it.

^^^ Our Llama Dog on the first day we had him. He was so little!

Do you have an awkward poop story? Will you tell me? Isn't my puppy cute? 

How Do Balls Work?

Seriously. I don't know if you've ever been pregnant before, but if you have and you've used a birthing ball, I'd love any tips you have on getting them to help the baby realize she wants to be on the outside getting attention and cuddles instead of on the inside making her Mama Llama uncomfortable. I mean, do you just sit on it however and bounce? Do you stay on it for hours or minutes? How does this legendary device work!? Because I've spent like, an hour and a half bouncing on this sucker and feel exactly as pregnant as I did before. I'm pretty sure I must be missing something.

And in not pregnancy related news, I thought you should know that a gigantic red wood tree fell over in the park nearish our house on Saturday afternoon. We drove by the gaggle of fire trucks and police officers surrounding the area that night on our way to get some delicious pralines and caramel ice-cream from the heavenly creamery down the road (where we waited in line for half an hour but regretted nothing because have you tasted the deliciousness they serve there!?) The story goes the tree broke in half and fell with a bang which was probably king of booms, crushing six vehicles parked innocently near-by and scaring the heck out of many near by pedestrians and park goers.

Today after church we drove home past the park and got a look at the tree for ourselves, free of its encircling emergency responders. And it was indeed massive. And three of the cars were still sitting there with their everythings banged in and glass all over the place. It was a sight to behold and I am very very glad we didn't decide go to the park and leave our car under a doomed red-wood.

And I also hope everyone had really good insurance.

Now here are some photos of me spending my Sunday evening trying to turn an inside baby into an outside baby.

What's the weirdest natural disaster you've ever witnessed? Do you know how birthing balls work? Did you think this post was about something else? 

Best Burgers Ever and a Lovely Visual

Not to brag, but last night Mr. Llama made me dinner (the man is a saint, I tell you) and it was most delicious. Imagine a hamburger--the best one you've ever tasted--now multiply the taste of it by 29,000 awesomes and you've got the meal my husband made me last night. I told you the griddle was a kitchen necessity before, and now I have a testimony of it. Because these burgers. Holy cow. He used some sort of sauce and seasoning in them, and then he made another sauce with pickle relish and it was divine and I about peed myself with excitement. Really I was just planning to eat one, but then there was another one and I thought, "eh, I'll eat half" but before I knew it the whole thing was gone. I blamed the dog for half a second in my head and then realized that the deliciously full and satisfied feeling in my belly meant it was probably me who had devoured the whole thing... so I accepted it and was happy.

The best part of dinner though, was that there were left overs, so as I sit typing this I'm munching on another delicious hamburger with a huge side of watermelon and a tall glass of water. And it is good. I would take a picture for you, but now the hamburger is gone and only half the watermelon remains, so it wouldn't be particularly beautiful.

If you want a visual though, imagine this. Me, 38 (almost 39) weeks pregnant, sitting at the kitchen table in my tankini, stomach bared because there isn't enough fabric in the world to cover it, an almost empty plate of watermelon in front of me and a streak of grease on the aforementioned bare belly from the aforementioned delicious burger. Isn't pregnancy beautiful?

Now if you are wondering why I'm in a tankini, I will tell you. It's because I went over to the house of a new friend and we chillaxed beside her apartment's pool for a while and just chatted and watched the cutest, gurgliest baby girl splash around and then explain to her mama without words but still very succinctly, that she was not a fan of the floaty thingamabob so please take her out of it right now, I mean it, now. The water was pretty chilly, so I didn't put more than my legs in, but oh how I wanted to! I think tomorrow I may work up the courage, because as it turns out there's a pool in our apartment complex too, and it's going to be 90 degrees out (I wonder if the Bay Area will put out another adorable little heat advisory?).

Oh and plus also, I thought I was having mild contractions last night! So that was exciting! But then it turned out I just needed to poo. Which I have been doing quite a bit more than normal lately. Too much information? Sorry, but if it's any comfort I hear it's normal to have looser bowels in the home stretch of a pregnancy, so at least I'm not the only preggo out there dealing with more #2 than usual.

And for those of you having trouble visualizing the tankini, this post's photo is for you. You are so welcome.

Tell me about the best burger you've ever eaten! And what sort of weather do you consider heat advisory worthy? Do low 90's count? 

Ramble, Ramble, TBT!

Sometimes I like to wear Mr. Llama's clothes while he is away. Can I help it that they are super comfortable and big on me and that he leaves them lying conveniently on the dresser, all unfolded and ready to be put on? You're right, I can't. All a(n uncomfortably pregnant) girl can do at that point is slip on the drawstring basketball shorts and oversized Captain America t-shirt before eating a big bowl of knock-off lucky charms (which are not as good as the real lucky charms) and logging onto the internet for the morning. Agreed? Agreed.

Did you know my due date is in eleven days? That's less than two weeks. But more than a week. And I'm not in single digits yet, and honestly my mom says I was 3 weeks late, so this child will probably just hang out until July 1st, at which point I will be so big no one will believe I'm fat instead of pregnant anymore. And then I can give birth to the largest ever recorded baby in the world, and I can get into the Guinness record book or something. And then that can be my interesting fact at functions where you're supposed to introduce yourself and say something memorable. "Hi, I'm Lidia and I gave birth to a 22 pound baby who was a month over-due and was born teething." Too much of a visual?

On the other hand, Mr. Llama was 3 weeks early, so perhaps Baby Llama will be juuuuust right--much like Goldilocks--and show up exactly on the tenth of June. Or any time between now and then would be cool. Did you hear that kid? Did you?

Oh and guys guess what! Today is throwback Thursday! I've never actually participated in this before, but right now I'm sitting in our dining room/office across from a photo wall thing we've got going on, and I can see two pictures which I would love to share with you, because I kind of think they are super adorable and that you'll like them, or at least pretend to because you're good at humoring me.

^^^Yeah, this is totally me. I have no idea how old I was, but I was darned adorable. Just look at the little pony-tail fountain! And the dress! And the monkey! And those bangs! Zeetus Lapeetus the cute!

^^^ This one is also me, only with slightly more magnificent bangs than before, and longer hair. And what seems to me like an air of nobility. I have to imagine that I was pretending to be a princess or something, so straight was I standing and so much lace did I sport. Not that I'm complaining. I dig the lace, and if I can find tights like that for Baby Llama, she will wear them all the time. Also, is that a bud light box in the corner?

^^^ Okay, on the real folks, I was going to post a picture of Mr. Llama at some high school dance with a girl who was not me because we hadn't yet met and made a baby, but then I thought about it and realized he would probably not appreciate pictures of his high school self being used here without getting permission... and he didn't answer his phone at work to give me permission. So Instead you get to look at this uber adorable but less interesting picture of Mr. Llama as a baby. On the plus side, if you morph this picture and the one of me with the fountain hair, you kinda get an idea of what Baby Llama might look like. Because I'm hoping she comes out looking a little cuter than the following.

Do you have a blog? Will you post throwback thursday pictures of yourself there so I can go look? What is the most embarrassing photo you or your parents have of your childhood self? 

Housewifeitude

You know what's awesome? Not working, that's what. I mean, I liked my job in Tempe. My boss was super nice, I could work from home, and my schedule was flexible for doctors appointments and other stuff. But you know the thing about working? It involves work. And schedules. And answering phones and being sociable. And I'm definitely more of a "I'll talk to you when I have time so please stop calling and send an e-mail if it's that important" sort of girl. So this house-wife thing is definitely for me. Because I don't have to talk to anyone. Because there is no one to talk to. Because I am alone in the house with a dog who is currently trying to gut his pillow and barking menacingly at me as if to say, "You, chick with the food, bring me something to munch on before you're next!"

...Now I'm sort of depressed. I like solitude on occasion, but I also would at least like the option of being sociable and having friends who I can send witty text messages to and then meet for lunch just because we're both bored out of our minds and need to get out of the house before our pets start ordering things like swedish massages on top of their milk-bones.

That's the thing about following your husband to a strange new land called San Jose where stores don't provide plastic bags and then charge you for paper ones. You don't get to take your friends with you. Or your family. Just your Mr. and your fetus and your dog. And then BAM you're a house-wife and you're barefoot and pregnant and standing in a kitchen and finding yourself actually enjoying it before swishing off to vacuum something and start a new blog because you figure talking to people on the internet counts as being social and helps to fulfill you. Lovely.

In other, even lovlier news, I got a griddle! I am genuinely super duper excited about this, because ever since Mr. Llama and I have been married I've been without one, which has made pancakes, french toast and bacon (basically all the best breakfast foods) uber difficult and time consuming to make correctly. I mean, have you ever tried making perfect french toast without a griddle? Because it sucks and by the time you're done the first four slices have gone all cold and icky and then you have to stick them in the microwave for ten seconds which basically ruins everything. So griddles, they're a kitchen necessity. Tell your friends.

And lest you think I was kidding about being barefoot and knocked up in my new kitchen...

I totally wasn't.

Have you ever moved someplace new? Where to? And how did you make friends!? Inquiring minds want to know. 

A Day in the Life of a Llama

I woke up this morning and I was very hungry (despite having eaten two cookies practically in my sleep during pregnant pee breaks), so I got up and put food in the dogs bowl and ate a big helping of cheerios in my underwear. And then I went back to bed, which was pretty lovely until Mr. Llama came in and told me he was going to work so have a great day and let him know if I go into labor because he'll come right back.

At this point I think I remember mumbling something about not tempting me, to which he responded, "As if you have control over that." I was very deeply wounded by this because right now I am super uncomfortable and Baby Llama has found a way to simultaneously head-butt my downstairs and kick my ribs 24/7, which I assure you, is not lovely in the least. So I'm understandably broken up about not being able to induce labor at will with the power of my mind, and having my lack of instant labor talent rubbed in my face like that made me a teensy bit weepy but mostly sleepy, so I closed my eyes and willed it all away and may have started to snore, but I'm not sure because Mr. Llama wasn't there to observe and report because he was (as previously mentioned) leaving for work.

Unfortunately, the sleepy times were short lived, because half an hour later I got a call from Mr. Llama letting me know that some unassailed personage had riffled through our (probably left unlocked) car the night before and made off with our emergency kit. I wish this undisclosed hooligan the best of luck with some pregnant woman's jumper cables and hope he feels uncontrollable guilt at having pilfered them from a car with a freshly installed car seat and lots of old gas receipts before falling into a fitful and pee break riddled sleep tonight.

So there.

I couldn't stop thinking about our car long enough to fall back asleep after that, so instead I played Candy Crush Saga (have you made it past level 65?!) and cruised around facebook until my stomach told me I was hungry again and I got up to eat a blueberry flavored greek yogurt  and agonize over what to call this new blog. As it turns out "lovelyllama" is already taken by some sort of farm where they breed real live llamas, and therefore it could not be used to chronicle the life of a 38 weeks pregnant (please get this baby out of me!) housewife with too much time on her hands and a flatulent bulldog sidekick. So instead of being all the way lovely I am mostly lovely, which you know what, I'm mostly okay with, because not everything is sunshiny every minute of every day, and it would be dishonest of me to pretend otherwise. Llamas are cute and cuddly and super adorbz, but they also spit, you guys. Not that I'm going to spit at you because gross. It's just a euphemism.

Now because I haven't had a chance to take any super cute pictures of myself and Mr. Llama and Llama Dog lately, instead you get to look at this picture of a pretty unfortunate looking, but so unfortunate looking its actually cute, llama. Pretend its me for now, because honestly, its what I feel like lately anyway.

Holler if you have any suggestions for getting this Baby Llama to make her grand entrance before I commit some sort of major crime trying to get her out!